Monday, May 16, 2011

Travel Tracks - Heading Back

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Okay – let's be clear.

We're heading back to Tanzania next January essentially because it was that extraordinary a journey – once wasn't enough.

That said – this old boy ain't makin’ the same mistakes twice.

For openers, we've no intention of travelling via London.
 London has as a prime tenant- Harrods.
 Harrods has as a prime product – shoes.
 I have as prime target – my lovely bride.
 To wrap it all together – 4 hours in Harrods runs about the same cost as a trip to Tanzania.

We're searching for a routing that has Iqaluit as a transfer point because in terms of high end shopping – there'll be Nunavut there.

As well, transferring via Nairobi's out of the question.
If I'm going to spend 5 hours at an airport waiting for them to clear Wildebeests off the active runway, let it be at an airport that has a 1st class passenger lounge.
Memo to the Nairobi Airport Authority: “A 1st class lounge is *not* defined as a spare storeroom where in exchange for $30, passengers can avail themselves of tap water and leftovers from the employee lunchroom.”
On arrival into Arusha, I will personally check the amount of fuel remaining in the tank of the vehicle dispatched to transport us 50 kilometers in the dark over terrain that looks remarkably like a lunar landscape only with fewer signs of civilization.
Yes I signed on for some excitement but examining what may or may not be an empty tank after the engine dies at 1am with a bic™ lighter goes a bit beyond what I agreed to.

I will avoid going into the Arusha Cultural Center with any thoughts of picking up a small souvenir.
It was only after the first go around earlier this year that I came to the realization they have some magnificent artwork, however most of the good stuff comes in the form of wooden carvings, stands about 2 meters high and weighs in excess of a thousand pounds.
Ideal if you're furnishing an Ethiopian museum perhaps – but as a carry on – not so much.
Unless of course you cut a deal with Harrods on the way back in exchange for a pair of shoes.

A supply of very large Ziploc bags will travel with me this go around.
Never again after numerous cups of coffee at breakfast do I want to have to choose between the old eyeballs turning yellow or a quick jaunt outside the Safari vehicle in the epicenter of lion country.
Especially with a brisk wind blowing.

I'll pay extra to have the lodge pack me something other than the standard safari take out lunch.
Not that there's anything wrong with it.
Cold chicken, hardboiled egg, carrot sticks, bran muffin, essence of nectar and tap water, and an O Henry are all good.
Just not 14 days running.
Unless you're one of the wandering gangs of baboons who delight in regularly removing these lunch kits from the safari vehicles as you're getting ready to depart.
I'll order up a creamed garlic bran & tofu salad.
Ain't nobody gonna swipe that one.

This time round I *will* heed my lovely bride's advice and take a supply of one dollar bills equivalent in value to the gross national expenditure of most third world nations.
No one in all of Africa has change.
For anything.
The bill comes to four dollars, you hand them a ten and you wind up with a baboon tooth and a box lunch for change.

Last, but not least, I'm going to pack a five million candlepower solar flashlight with me this time.
The whole concept of conserving energy by shutting down the power at the lodge at night boggles the mind.
If ever I needed to see where I was going in the dark it would be in the middle of lion country.
Hmm.
I wonder if Harrods stocks those?

Adios until next time
Dave Heron


Dave Heron is the owner and operator of: Pace Setter Travel & Tours (1995) Inc; P.O. Box 612, 49 Elizabeth Street, Okotoks.
Tel: 403.938.5454
Toll Free: 1.800.206.7223.
Fax: 403.938.5568
Email: pacesetter@nucleus.com

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