Travel Tracks by Dave Heron

(Page 8)

Look Ma ~ No Wings

We called him “Goofy Freddy”, partially because we were a tough gang of 7 year olds but mostly because Freddy was…….. well, a tad goofy even by 7 year old standards.

While most of us made our way around the neighborhood with coaster bikes assembled from remnants of assorted mechanical parts, Freddy hit the streets running with a brand spanking new CCM one Spring morning to the envy of us all.

You could hear him coming from a block away.
“Look Ma – No Hands” he'd scream just prior to slamming into the side of various parked vehicles and assorted unsuspecting pedestrians.

In addition to being somewhat unbalanced, Freddy just didn't get it when it came to understanding traffic flow.
Needless to say Freddy went through a lot of bicycles and took out more than his fair share of innocent bystanders by the time we lost track of him.

Understandably, Freddy after a short while, had very few takers when he offered rides on the crossbar.
A story hit the headlines the other day that made me think that perhaps Freddy had given up bicycles and had gotten into the airline business.

There's shall we say, a somewhat checkered history of entrepreneurs who feel that there's a fortune to be made in the business of offering cheap flights.

And while there is in fact a fortune to be made in offering and subsequently accepting payment for cheap flights, it's the actual completion of the flying program that's raised the alarm bells over the past few years.
Zoom
FlyGlobespan
Jetsgo
Oasis.
To name but a few.

And like Freddy, there were more than a few casualties from the debris field when things ground to a halt.
Now comes word of a new operation poised to launch this summer over the North Atlantic, a route that has statistically seen more overcapacity and perpetual loss leaders than Dollar Stores in a major city.
To sweeten the pot, the alleged driving force behind this one horse stable is a veteran of one of the previously mentioned operators.
Perfect.

Gives me the same reassurance as a telemarketer trying to convince me he's the best positioned guy to manage my portfolio.

He's got years of experience having previously worked for Bernie Madoff.
But it will be different this time don't ya know?
Where other operators ply their craft through the utilization of modern fuel efficient aircraft which keeps the per seat mile cost down, this operation's going with an aircraft type first introduced in 1983 and discontinued 21 years ago in 1990 after a production run of only 81 aircraft.

Okay - an older, less fuel efficient aircraft requiring 1 additional cockpit crew is bound to cost a bit more to operate.

No problem - add more seats.

Done - where a certain Asian operator squeezes 405 bodies on board their 300 series, this new one's planning on 517 seats to accommodate the Canuck crowd on the 10 hour Vancouver to London flight.
That's like Goofy Freddy putting 4 on the crossbar for a quick jaunt round the block .
I can hardly wait.

The ads will probably start in another month.
"FLY DIRECT FOR LESS - AVOID THE CROWD- BOOK NOW - ONLY $699"
"LIMITED TIME OFFER $499 - INCLUDES A SET OF GHINZOU KNIVES AND A WAM BAM NUT CHOPPER"
"OPERATORS STANDING BY - NOT AVAILABLE THROUGH TRAVEL AGENTS - CALL NOW"

Which will possibly be followed by ads a month later that suggest "due to circumstances beyond our control" and sage advice to contact your credit card company to file a claim for flights purchased but not taken.
The only truly unknown factor here is whether or not Goofy Freddy will dust off his old CCM and come roaring down Airport Road bellowing "LOOK MA - NO WINGS" and finally achieve personal credibility after all these years.

*POSTSCRIPT*
This article was originally published by yours truly on January 25th of this year in a travel trade publication called Open Jaw and was in reaction to a new operation based out of Calgary calling itself 

BRITFLIGHTS.COM

The people behind BRITFLIGHTS.COM were thought to be some of the same ones that had been involved with the now defunct ZOOM Airlines and GO TRAVEL DIRECT.

Needless to say, more than a few industry insiders were a tad skeptical over this newly proposed venture.
As of March 22nd, the notice appearing on their web-site simply states, “It is my regret to inform you that  Britflights Inc. will no longer be operating”.

Wow – who'd have thought?
Other than perhaps Goofy Freddy.

Adios until next time
Dave Heron

Dave Heron is the owner and operator of: Pace Setter Travel & Tours (1995) Inc;

P.O. Box 612, 49 Elizabeth Street, Okotoks.
Tel: 403.938.5454
Toll Free: 1.800.206.7223.
Fax: 403.938.5568
Email:
pacesetter@nucleus.com