Travel Tracks ~ Air Travel Chaos

What's a passenger to think?

It began with folks getting arrested for bringing bottles of mouthwash containing more than 100 ml on board the flight with them.
Never mind that the bag they stored this contraband in measured something in excess of an NHL equipment bag and wouldn't fit IN the seat much less under it.
From there it moved on to airline executives NOT getting arrested for publishing $299 airfares in billboard size letters only to add into the 16 lines of fine print,  plus $430 in taxes, fees and other miscellaneous larceny.
Now we have US air traffic controllers falling asleep in the tower in the midst of rush hour leaving pilots to sort out for themselves which runway to land on.

"Ah - Washington Center this is United 255 requesting VFR final on 19 Left"
Zzzzzzzzzzz
"Ah - Washington Center say again"
Zzzzzzzzzz
"United 255 this is Delta 612 Heavy - we think someone left the TV stuck on a Flames game and the controllers are asleep"
"Roger that Delta 612 - coordinate approach with you on a see and be seen?"
"Copy that United - rock, paper scissors for who lands first?"
Of course some of this goes a long way towards explaining why after you've landed, it takes another 40 minutes to get to the gate.
"Air Canada 845 cleared active runway requesting Alpha Bravo to gate 16".
Zzzzzzzzz.

Apart from having the nation's runways look like the Deerfoot during a snow clogged rush hour, nap time in the crystal palace of air traffic control is causing some other serious issues.
Unlike Members of Parliament who for all intents and purposes have been known to remain catatonic for months at a time, air traffic control can be regarded as somewhat conspicuous by their absence during siesta.

Two weeks ago at New York's JFK airport, an A-380 belonging to Air France clipped the vertical stabilizer of a Canadair Regional Jet belonging to Comair.
To put things into perspective, an A-380 is the world's largest passenger aircraft, roughly the size of Black Diamond only with twice as many people.
Comair's RJ, while not microscopic in size, can barely load 4 Great Danes into its cabin without going overweight.
In short, the 'going too fast' on the taxiway A-380's wingtip hit the tail of the 'not quite cleared the area' RJ resulting in the RJ moving far more quickly from the taxi area to the terminal building than thought possible.
Air France never knew they hit anything while passengers on the RJ were busy texting their lawyers at Gitem Dragem and Wreckum Attorneys at Law for class action whiplash filings.
To be fair, this happened at around 8:15 in the evening, and knowing that a group nap was scheduled in the tower for 8:30, Air France probably wanted out quickly, not being all that conversant with rock, paper, scissors.
The US Government to their credit, is starting to take this matter very seriously.

A week later, a Boeing 737 carrying none other than the First Lady of the United States had what journalists south of the border referred to as a near miss with another aircraft belonging to none other than the US Military.
A near miss?
To me a near miss is actually a hit - but nonetheless, once this madness begins to spill over to the First Family, it's a call to action.
The head of Air Traffic Control has been removed from his position.
Well - that solves that doesn't it.
Sure does.

The next controller to get fired in Cleveland a week ago - was wide awake.
He couldn't sleep - he was busy watching a movie called CLEANER with Samuel L Jackson and I defy anyone to sleep through that one.
And we know this how?
Seems this fellow that used to get paid a six figure salary wasn't savvy enough to unstick his microphone from the transmit position and was broadcasting the thriller to every aircraft within 500 miles.
Had it not played hell with the passengers' own in-flight entertainment devices - perhaps no one would have caught on.

Maybe it's time for Obama to pull a 21st century Ronnie Regan - and fire 'em all.
Replace them with an I-Phone rock-paper-scissors app.
Then the displaced can all hire on with airport security.
And the next time I go through en route to the gate I can declare I've got more than the permitted 100 ml of mouthwash with me.

Instead of hearing "assume the position", at best I'll get "Zzzzzzzzzzzz".

Adios until next time
Dave Heron

Dave Heron is the owner and operator of: Pace Setter Travel & Tours (1995) Inc; P.O. Box 612, 49 Elizabeth Street, Okotoks.
Tel: 403.938.5454
Toll Free: 1.800.206.7223.
Fax: 403.938.5568
Email:
pacesetter@nucleus.com