Travel Tracks ~ *Smart As A Button* By Dave Heron

Click on the article headline if you would like to read our entire publication online, in original print format. To leave a comment, click the link at the bottom of this post.

Pretty much everyone who deals with a cross section of the general public on a daily basis can relate to the absurd when it comes to questions asked of them from time to time.

I suspect every merchant gets their fair share of “how much is this four dollar widget?” type inquiry.
The travel industry's no different other than some of these dillies blindside us clear out of left field.
A few years back while enjoying some of the most spectacular scenery in the South Pacific, a not-so- young lass of Australian creation raised herself off the beach chair to inquire of us, “does the water go all the way around this island?”

Cute as a button she was - just not quite as bright.
Closely related to her I suspect, was Mr. Button who popped into our office one morning while everyone was tied up on the phone, patiently waited while glancing through the brochure rack and once someone was free, asked “Is this the flower shop?”
There was a short lived urge to respond we weren't even a branch office.
Getting calls from folks asking if they need to check in at the airport prior to their 4:00pm departure time doesn't even phase us anymore.

The real award winners however seem to have forsaken our establishment and moved on to direct their inquiries, comments and otherwise to other far flung corners.
Outside of Britain's famed Windsor Castle a couple of years back, a member of a tour group commented to the guide, “y'all have a beautiful castle – too bad they built it so close to the airport”.
Yes well - when it was built back in 1080, the number of complaints about proximity to the airport were not quite what they are now *were they then*.

Remote descendents of Einstein have been flooding the customer service departments of tour operators lately with complaints the likes of:
-The beach was too sandy
-No one told us there'd be fish in the sea - the children were startled
-While on vacation in Spain we were upset that the cab drivers all spoke Spanish.
Sadly, on most of the planet, these very same folks are entitled to vote and procreate.

Then we have those who grace the cramped quarters of confined flight space with us:
"Oh my God - we're going down" exclaimed one wizard to the flight attendant. "Is this normal?"
"Every time we land" came the response although it's not documented if it sunk in before kissing terra firma. 
And with the wide use of the anonymous internet, there's always some "goof du jour" that feels his question has merit, such as posed by the polar opposite of Stephen Hawking on Yahoo Answers a few weeks back:
And I kid you not here folks, "Why don't airlines give parachutes to each passenger in the event of a crash?"
Waddya nuts?
Airlines these days won't even give you a 2 ounce bag of pretzels never mind a 19 lb parachute.
And sometimes in the absence of a question, the entire collection of passengers on board pull a group stunt that leaves lingering questions for years to come.
Like passengers on board Air France flight 358 from Paris to Toronto 6 years ago.
After a particularly rough approach, and by all reports a landing that normally would beg the question, "have we landed or were we shot down?", passengers clapped and cheered as the aircraft finally made contact with the ground albeit some 5000 ft further down the runway than they should have.
The celebration as it turns out was a mite premature given that the aircraft ran out of runway, went down an embankment and burst into flames some 20 ft from Canada's busiest highway, the 401.
Two valuable lessons were learned from this incident in which fortunately, no one was killed:
The first was that passengers should refrain from celebratory activity until the aircraft has come to a complete stop in front of the terminal and the Captain has turned off the No Clapping Sign.

The second lesson is that the 401 is a dangerous highway for everyone at all times and merging on to it via means other than approved access lanes is not recommended.

Anyway I'd better pack it in.

I've got an angry customer coming in early to demand I back him in his lawsuit against KLM for losing his luggage.
Given the fact he flew British Airways doesn't seem to sink in.
I can hardly wait to see how this one plays out.

Adios until next time
Dave Heron

Dave Heron is the owner and operator of: Pace Setter Travel & Tours (1995) Inc;
P.O. Box 612, 49 Elizabeth Street, Okotoks.
Tel: 403.938.5454
Toll Free: 1.800.206.7223.
Fax: 403.938.5568
Email: pacesetter@nucleus.com