Travel Tracks - We Value Your Business

(Page 12)

Pharmaceutical companies of the world take note – my lovely bride has indicated I'm available as a test subject for any new product you're in the process of developing.
It's been an interesting week.
As airlines and tour operators continue to engage in the practice of relocating their call centers offshore, we now spend more time on hold waiting for the 1st available operator than we do actually flying to the selected destination.
I suppose it's not all that bad because on the average hold, I'm told over and over again that I'm in the VIP priority queue which makes me feel more valued that the poor schlep who's a nobody.
Then again, the schlep can probably close up the shop, go home, have dinner and a good night's sleep, and come back in the morning without losing HIS place in non VIP queue.
One particular airline's a dilly however amongst a strong field of contenders.
The drill usually starts at around 9:00am when out of compulsive neurotic habit, you dial into their call center at the instant you open the office doors.
Not that you have anything pressing to discuss with them – but by the time they actually answer – you might.
Always entertaining.
By about hour 2 of hearing them “thank me for my patience”, I'm beginning to mutter obscenities, the sound of which escapes my cage and meanders into the outer office.
Clients begin to ask our staff, “Is he okay?”
No one volunteers to open THAT Pandora's Box.
By noon the hold music kicks in which in this particular case is the founder of said airline belting out show tunes.
It's an improvement over hearing for the 600th time that my call is being held in priority sequence and I can't help but wonder what adding a 2nd staff member would do for their operation.
Hearing an old Sinatra tune recycle its way through the Muzak I stay awake by humming along.
Other clients are now asking, “does he need help?”
EUREKA – the show tunes stop, a line starts ringing, and I get ready to conduct business.
But No.
A new recording comes forth announcing the new and special deals that are available – “just call us toll free at …….”
Latin verbiage is now making its way through my system.
“Is he not well?” a voice from the business end of the office volunteers.
Actually, truth be known – I'm fine.
While on hold, I've managed to book 4 passengers on an around-the world-cruise, upgrade my credit card to one that allows me to access a super VIP priority line, write 4 new chapters on The Art of Customer Service, and shovel 4 feet of snow from in front of the door.
Unfortunately, I've yet to accomplish getting through to an organization that now has 4 files that require an intervention.
"I can see the sun starting to set" I exclaim to no one in particular at which point a client in the general office asks, "is he aware he's in a windowless cage?"
Someone tosses a couple of small blue pills over the wall, they land in my coffee and 15 minutes later I'm patiently talking to a recorded message.
Right up until that very instant the recording changes to, " I'm sorry- our offices are now closed - please call back tomorrow between the hours of 9am and 6pm Eastern Standard Time."
I'm not sure if the defining moment of 'losing it' was when my inbox pinged with notification of an alert, from the very airline I'd been on hold with, advising me that their offices were now open Saturdays to cope with the overload, or when I screamed out in Aramaic that were they to try answering their phones Monday through Friday there'd be no need to open Saturdays - but there was indeed a defining moment somewhere.
My lovely bride suggests it was when I went out for a walk to purchase cat food - despite the fact we have two Great Danes.
Nonetheless we'll try again tomorrow.
Or perhaps not.
Fact of the matter is - by now I really can't remember what the hell I was trying to contact them for in the first place.

Adios until next time
Dave Heron

Dave Heron is the owner and operator of: Pace Setter Travel & Tours (1995) Inc; 
P.O. Box 612, 49 Elizabeth Street, Okotoks.
Tel: 403.938.5454
Toll Free
 1.800.206.7223.
Fax: 403.938.5568
Email:
pacesetter@nucleus.co