Travel Tracks ~ *Don't Do It - Just Say No* by Dave Heron

If this sounds a lot like Starbucks telling you to stay away from coffee because it's bad for you – so be it.
That said – If you can avoid travelling at Christmas – do so.
Every year like shop aholics addicted to Boxing Day sales, sun starved Albertans scan the ads for the coveted Christmas getaway in hopes of beating the odds and getting a Caribbean jewel for 50% less than retail.
Rule # 1: There's a difference between the price of a product and the value of said product.
As I pound the keyboard – I'm seeing unsold vacations seeking a buyer at prices as low as $800 + taxes.
If you are prepared to fly in the middle of the night.
If you don't mind making a stop or two en route.
If you're prepared to squeeze your 17 inch wide keister into a 16 inch wide seat.
If you're prepared to endure line ups at the airport that resemble those found on Black Friday at shops in the US selling flat screen televisions for $39.
And that's before you actually get to the resort.
The resort that normally accommodates 3000 guests but over Christmas when “kids fly free”, the population of this all inclusive compound soars to 6000.
With 30% less staff than normally caters to 3000 trying to appease the demands of 6000.
The one with buffet line-ups that look an awful lot like the airline check in counter you've just endured.
But hey – it was cheap.
The money you've saved can now be put to good use at the local Tienda de Beach Chair shop which is your only option after discovering that 6000 guests will hoard the 200 or so available beach and pool chairs pretty quick.
Then again – a chair's not much good to anyone when the 300 meters or so of available beach resembles a mass grave with bodies littered over every available square inch of sand.
Ah well – there's always the pool.
The one with the swim up bar that's had Freddy and his bunch sitting on the stools for the past 11 hours quaffing back copious amounts of beer without once getting off the stool.
Passing on that one – there's always the day trip away from the resort to the all inclusive eco-park.
The one at $100 each for admission + a $40 cab ride each way + a 3 hour wait to swim with the dolphins at $150 a pop.
But hey – the trip was cheap.
But suddenly not looking like having a lot of value attached to it is it?
It's Christmas.
Stay home with the rest of us poor schleps and partake in a variety of festive activities like snow shoveling, last minute shopping, entertaining the in-laws, looking for a mall parking spot, rushing the dog to the vet as a result of one of them eating the entire Christmas tree or trying to find a plumber on Christmas day to cope with having 30 people over for dinner in your single washroom house.
Hmm…it's snowing again.
Who's the wiseass that kept asking for a White Christmas?
Maybe *you* can drop by and clear the snow from the roof that's already suffering from the effects of the Prairie Hurricane we endured a few weeks back?
Or take the dogs out at 3:31AM when the thermometer's generally at its lowest reading?
I'd love to but I just found an $800 deal and…………..

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND ADIOS UNTIL 2012.


Dave Heron

Dave Heron is the owner and operator of: Pace Setter Travel & Tours (1995) Inc; P.O. Box 612, 70 McRae Street, Okotoks.
Tel: 403.938.5454
Toll Free: 1.800.206.7223.
Fax: 403.938.5568
Email: pacesetter@nucleus.com