Travel Tracks: *OFF TO A GREAT START*

Grab a coffee and enjoy the latest giggle from Dave Heron.....I bet Steve isn't laughing!



Gotta love the Chinese.
Not only do they create eggrolls that are far superior to those say, from their neighbors to the west, Uzbekistan, but of late, they're really bolstering the image of North American made cars.
The Shandong Huoy for example, may very well be the only vehicle on the planet that makes one want to rush out and pick up a vintage Pontiac Aztec.
Their visionary role however stands out in the area of naming years after animal groupings.
To truly appreciate the ancient Chinese wisdom, one needs to understand that the year and name pairing was devised more years ago than even I can recall.
And with such accuracy.
Imagine if you will, a group of elders sitting around the lodge in Peking armed with nothing but a dart and a couple of Mercator Maps.
Tossing the projectile, they declare 2001 to be the Year of the Snake and lo and behold 2001 gives us Jeffrey Skilling and his gang at Enron.
Ditto for 2008 and the Year of the Rat - voila and up pops Bernie Madoff.
We're still looking for absolute verification however we've uncovered evidence that 2012, while officially known as the Year of the Dragon was originally scheduled to appear as the Year of the Duped.
Were the ancient thinkers really all that prophetic or did the vintage abacus also perhaps double as a web browser?
Here's where we're going with this one kids:
For the two of you who've been faithfully following this column for years now, you're well aware of the caveats I've attached to booking that perfect holiday for a 90% discount over the internet.
For the rest of you, including the one that called the other day to proudly exclaim they'd found what they wanted for their getaway on Craigslist, follow the bouncing ball here will you?
Steve Chase has a million dollar home located in one of the most sought after areas of Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
At around $3,000 for a month, 8 adults sharing this 4 bedroom beachfront palace complete with swimming pool can apparently live cheaper for a month in Florida than they can in sub zero Canada eh?
Contracts in hand, guests are turning up every week at Steve's place.
He's booked solid for the next two years.
People are actually turning up on his doorstep and if no one answers the bell, are leaving their luggage in the driveway and heading down to the beach until the standard 4:00pm check in time arrives.
Here's the problem folks:
Steve himself, the legitimate owner of Casa Chase - has never put his digs on to the rental market.
Much of course to the chagrin of his "guests" who've all shelled out copious amounts of cash in the form of bank drafts.
Unfortunately not to Steve.
No - somewhere in the heart of Webville there sits a smiling entrepreneur who, after his initial investment for a laptop and photoshop software, has made more money than his parole officer ever thought him capable of.
Lured by photos that would make the Sultan of Brunei grow envious, snowbirds by the hundreds are getting bilked left, right and center.
"But it seemed so good on the web".
As for recourse, the odds seem to be better when it comes to getting your Bre-Ex investment back.
While Steve now has a sign on the front door that reads, *This place is not, has never been and is unlikely to be- For Rent - please contact the Fort Lauderdale Police Department*, it appears there's little the boys in blue can do.
"The problem is that the victims are from Canada and other countries", explained Ft. Lauderdale police spokesman Sgt. Steve Skelfo. "The money's not actually coming through Ft. Lauderdale - we have no jurisdiction to investigate".
And because Steve Chase has never received anything other than the brunt of exasperated hostilities, he's not considered a victim under the governing laws of Ft. Lauderdale, the State of Florida or the United States for that matter.
Should be an interesting few months down at Steve's.
Don't be a victim.
If it seems too good to be true...........
Better yet, if you've got $2,700 lying around that you're prepared to waste, consider investing in a very slightly used 2001 Aztec.
You'll probably still feel like an idiot that's been duped when you take delivery but look on the bright side.
After a couple of years when the neighbour's laughter subsides, you'll likely have enough retained value in the damn thing to trade it in for an order of eggrolls.
Albeit the ones made in Uzbekistan.
Failing that you can ship it to Steve for use as a doorstop at his front gate.

Adios until next time

Dave Heron


Dave Heron is the owner and operator of: Pace Setter Travel & Tours (1995) Inc; P.O. Box 612, 70 McRae Street, Okotoks.
Tel: 403.938.5454
Toll Free: 1.800.206.7223.
Fax: 403.938.5568
Email: pacesetter@nucleus.com