Personal Protection ~ Fear and Confusion

Does fear control your life?

I was recently reflecting on some of the less desirable decisions I've made in life and asked myself, "what was I thinking?!" Really the question boils down to, why do good people sometimes do really dumb things?
As I was thinking about the question I went back through some recent decisions or events where I didn't act the way I should have, let myself down, or let others down, or embarrassed myself. For most of us when we look back on these types of events or situations we feel a sense of shame and/or embarrassment. So then what goes on inside our head at the time of making the decision? For me it was confusion. Generally speaking every time I made a dumb decision I can remember being confused and feeling overwhelmed. Things felt like they were spiraling out of control. I felt like I didn't quite know what to do so I did the first thing that came to mind out of desperation to get to a point where I wasn't confused or lost and back in control of myself and the situation.
So what leads to the confusion? Fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of getting hurt, fear of losing control, of hurting someone else, of failure and many other fears. This is completely normal and healthy. It's part of the human emotional spectrum and fear serves an important purpose of protecting us, physically and emotionally.
So why is this important for you? Well many of you are professional warriors in the law enforcement or military field. What happens if you don't understand this relationship between fear, confusion and making less desirable decisions? People can get hurt and/or killed. But even for those of you who aren't professional warriors, or even martial artists, it's important to understand that this fear exists and that in situations it can lead to confusion and compromise your ability to make decisions. Once you acknowledge and understand it you can begin to prepare for it and not let it grab hold of you and control you.
Shihan Jay Creasey often talks about martial arts as a path of letting go of anything in your life that's weighing you down. Often this fear and confusion holds people back from maximizing their true potential, especially in martial arts practice. By acknowledging that we get afraid, and that it's normal and healthy, we can start on the path to courage, not allow the confusion to take hold of us and make sound decisions in situations that would normally freak us out. By acknowledging the fear and confusion we can begin to let go of it. We can say, "yeah I'm afraid of this or that, it freaks me out. BUT that's ok, I'm normal. Now what do I need to do to keep moving forwards?"
For me this process has helped me to honestly evaluate decisions I make and to make better choices, even when I'm afraid I'm better able to keep control of myself, my decision making and not let the fear take the wheel.

Stay safe, be well.
Sensei Tom Gillis